Another blog about weight...

I had a very unsettling resolution the other day: I had gained weight. An obvious, too-many-nachos-and-soda kind of weight. All of my shorts were snug across the bottom (if you looked closely enough you could read my Victoria's Secret label) and my buttons and zippers were practically bursting at the seems!

This past Saturday we were traveling to my sisters house, which isn't a fancy affair, but I wanted to look cute and it had been hot out so shorts seemed necessary. I actually went through four pairs of shorts trying to find some that were suitable. One pair were to "exercisey" for me; another pair were too tight across the waist; and a third pair were okay (if spandex was back in style).

It was the forth pair that did me in! They were just fine when I was standing up, but as soon as I would start to sit the fat would just ooze out like extra cheese on a pizza. So I thought, "well, what if I just stand all day?" That's no good, surely I'd get tired. But I seriously weighed over this decision. What IF I stood all day? That's not that awkward looking, right? Who would notice? I could just casually lean against the counter tops, and rest one foot up here and there on a stool... Oh, but the car ride down... it's over an hour! So I told myself I could just unbutton the shorts in the car, and when I got there I'd suck it in and put the button back in place!

I tried out my plan on a chair in my dining room. However, as soon as I sat down there was a muffin top explosion! I was quickly becoming short of breath, so I hurriedly unbuttoned my shorts and before I could stop it, the fat had taken on a mind of its own and unzipped the zipper by itself! I looked like Al Bundy from Married With Children. This wouldn't work at all!

My self-esteem and body image were bypassing depression and heading straight for suicidal when I got a sudden burst of hope! My safety jeans! Every woman I've ever met has a pair of safety jeans. These are the jeans that look fabulous no matter what size you are! If you've lost some weight they hang off your hips in a funky, casual, too-skinny-to-care kind of way, and if you've gained weight they "accentuate" your curves in a most flattering way. You can pair them with heels, sandals, or tennis shoes and they always look great!

I ran to my closet and threw on my safety jeans. Okay, so they were more "accentuating" than "hanging" but by golly they worked! I instantly felt better... okay maybe I'd been watching too much of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but I needed anything at that point to boost my confidence. *sigh* It was such a great movie... now on to real life...