I've been so sick for the past week that I can tell you from memory the number of tiles on our bathroom walls. I've used enough toilet paper to cover Rhode Island, and I've drank so much water that the Pacific Ocean has reached an all-time low. I'm now down to about 4 small meals a day, and can no longer eat dairy or drink caffeinated beverages, or eat chocolate (well, sweets in general). Thank the Lord I can still eat bread!

I'm too tired to do anything but sit around (a shower is a daunting task, and if I could pass off my stench as a new perfume... I would) My carpet is beginning to feel like I'm walking across a bowl of Frosted Flakes cereal thanks to my lack of vaccuuming. And I swear Dr. Seuss got his idea about "Horton Hears A Who" from the volume of dust that has accumulated on the tops of my furniture.

...After all this, I better be losing weight...